


Killer Muffins

by Queen_Drexie



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 18:11:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11765514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Drexie/pseuds/Queen_Drexie
Summary: "How are we going to exterminate all of the grownups?"“Easy, all we need is a cake mix box, tiny cupcakes tin, and a jar of rat poison,” Lutz explained, rubbing her tiny, baby, but evil hands in front of her.“Yeah!” they cried, high-fiving each other.





	Killer Muffins

**Author's Note:**

> Uhm, this just came to me just a few days ago. I imagined what it would be if the Triplets were murderers and this happened. In my opinion, this is more light-hearted. If this was serious, then this would be a multi-chapter story. 
> 
> Enjoy!

They were three, evil and smart little girls. They had been very intelligent for as long as they could remember; no one had ever surpassed them. Not even their parents. 

They were sitting on the couch one day, where Lutz conceived the idea to assassinate all of the grownups. 

“Why?” asked her triplet sister Axel. 

“Because even though we’re smart, the grownups have the world all to them and are enslaving the child race with their dumb chores; we should make the world just for children.”

“That sounds like a great idea!” cried Loop. 

“Yeah! But how are we going to exterminate all of the grownups? We can’t hide guns no matter how small they are, and mama’s already scolded for staying up late last night.” Axel questioned. 

“Easy, all we need is a cake mix box, tiny cupcakes tin, and a jar of rat poison,” Lutz explained, rubbing her tiny, baby, but evil hands in front of her. 

“Yeah!” they cried, high-fiving each other.

The three girls went to the nearest convenience store and bought the necessary items with their dad’s credit card. Soon they were back home and pouring the mix in with water, eggs, and vegetable oil. They crushed the poison and poured it in, hoping it be well hidden but be strong enough to kill any taste-testers.

Fifteen minutes later, the girls were cheering as they pulled the muffins out of the oven, just happy with their work. 

Their mother came in and took in the smell. Oh, she was the girls’ first target. 

“Mhm, girls. It smells nice in here, have you made anything?” asked Yuuko. 

“Here, mama, try this!” asked Lutz, giving her one of the muffins. 

The girls had evil grins on their faces, as Yuuko took a bite. 

“How is it?” asked Axel. 

“It’s—“ Yuuko started to choke. She grabbed her neck hoping to help herself but it was futile. The three girls showed zero remorse, like the dirty little masterminds they were. Yuuko fell to the ground, dead. The three little girls laughed.

But oh wait. What if their father came in and saw this? They’d be in so much trouble! Quickly, the three girls put their dead mother in their parents’ bedroom, to make it look like she was napping right now. 

Their dad Takeshi came in and he saw the muffins that were on the counter. He raised a brow. “Girls? What are these?”

“Oh!” the three girls ran back into the kitchen. “These are some muffins we made, dad. Won’t you try some?”

“Sure,” Takeshi said. In less than two minutes, Takeshi was on the ground dead like his wife. 

The three girls laughed maniacally again. The three placed the muffins in a basket and went into the town to kill the first adults on their lists, the ones they’ve known their whole lives. 

The three walked to the Yu-topia onsen and they walked up to Mrs. Katsuki. They greeted and the old woman, “Oh hello, how are you?”

“We’re okay; um, we made these muffins and we were hoping you could try one of them,” Axel asked, holding up the tin to her.

“Why of course, dear.” The old woman took a bite out of one of them and immediately her eyes turned wide. She was choking, holding her neck in her hands. She looked at the triplets and saw that they had the evilest grins on their faces. Her eyes widened, but she fell onto her back, dead. Mr. Katsuki came in, and he saw his wife lying on the floor unconscious. The man screamed, running to her side. He saw the girls and asked them what happened, but Loop pulled out a knife. She shoved it into the man’s mouth; it also had a muffin embedded into it, hoping to get the job twice as quickly done. 

Mr. Katsuki’s eyes went wide, and he fell onto his back, just like his wife. 

“Doof,” Lutz commented, looking at the old man. Axel put the tin of muffins on the counter. With all of their strength, they grabbed the elderly bodies and chucked them into the onsen out back. When they came back, they found a large, brown dog snacking on some of the muffins. 

“NO!” the three girls cried out, shaking their hands in front of them. Makkachin fell down to the floor, dead. 

The three triplet girls were jaw dropped, and they backed away. They bumped into someone wearing a red uniform. They looked up and found Mari looking at them with a brow raised. 

“What’s the matter?” the woman asked them. 

The three girls snapped. They tackled the woman with their small bare hands. Loop looked at the tin and saw that some of the muffins were still there. Loop came back, as Axel and Lutz were holding Mari down; Loop walked on her chest and shoved two of the muffins down her throat. Mari choked as her eyes were just as large as the moon. 

She was dead as the triplets walked away. Hm, they had started with twelve muffins and since their parents and the Katsuki couple had one each, and Mari had two, it meant they had used seven by now. However, Makkachin had two, so the girls had three left and had to make more. So quickly before anyone else would show up, the girls ran back home. They left the tin at home and went to the convenience store to buy another box of cake mix. Soon they had a new dozen, right on the counter. 

The three girls walked out of the house and bumped into Yuuri. 

“Hi, Yuuri!” they greeted. 

“Hi girls.” the Japanese boy waved, smiling at them. 

“Won’t you try one of our muffins?” the girls asked, holding the tin in front of him. 

“Sure.” Yuuri took a bite and his brown eyes widened. Yuuri fell on his back, dead like everyone else that had fallen to the murderous sweets. 

The girls laughed in triumph again. They went to Minako’s studio and Minako had a muffin too. Minako’s body was soon shoved down the dumpster in a bag several minutes later. The triplets happily skipped down the side walk, until they saw Viktor in the distance, holding Yuuri’s dead body on his lap. 

Uh oh. 

Viktor looked up at the girls. His blue gems had fire right in them. 

“OH SHIT!” the three girls cried. He found out. If Makkachin was in the onsen, then it meant that his owner was around too. 

Viktor stood up. He pulled out eight knives which he had embedded in between his fingers. He threw the knives at the girls. 

The girls cried out as they barely dodged the knives. Loop growled and gave Viktor her middle finger. The girls knew they couldn’t retreat now. They picked up the knives that Viktor shot at them. They stood upon each other, all of them holding two knives each. They ran at each other. 

There was nothing but the sounds of flesh ripping and blood falling to the floor. There were screams, but the triplets came out victorious. They were smarter than any adult in the world! Not even the great Viktor Nikiforov could defeat them. 

And after traveling to certain parts of the world with even more of the delicious delights, they were able to annihilate the entire adult race. 

And children ruled over the world for years to come. 

The End. 

x0x

“So, what did you think of the fanfiction we wrote?” asked Axel, as she was sitting on a large, plush chair. 

“Um,” Viktor tried to look for the right words. He was sitting on a wooden chair in the Nishigori’s basement. His chest, his wrists, and ankles were tied to it with duct tape so he wouldn't run away.

“Say something positive or it’s your hair, pretty boy,” Loop threatened, holding a pair of scissors at his face. 

Viktor cried out. “Okay! It’s good, okay?” he had his eyes shut as he tried to move around on the chair. His hair swished in the air. In truth, he thought that the story was too rushed. However, he didn’t feel like walking out of the Nishigori house with a serious bald spot!

“Yay!” Axel cried, her eyes sparkling. 

“Okay, now let me go!” Viktor demanded. He tried to bust free but it was futile. The tape was too tough for him!

Lutz wagged her finger. “Mh-mhm. We still have Yuuri to bring in.” she chuckled, pulling out a thin, black, frilled nightie and another roll of duct tape. 

“Damn it.” Viktor threw his head down. This was going to be the longest thing he’s ever done in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh, this is the crackiest thing I’ve ever done as a one shot. The ending is probably paying back for all of the times Viktor kidnapped, abused, manipulated, violated, beaten, possessed, or all of the above, Yuuri. Though I don't think Yuuri is still safe from what is going to happen to him. XD I think I’ll go back and add more things whenever I can. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
